well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
