I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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