I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
