so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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