I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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