On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize