At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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