How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Found your dick twin last night
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
