I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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