You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
