I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
