Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize