Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
