I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize