Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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