I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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