so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
