i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
