Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
