Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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