Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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