He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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