why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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