I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
