mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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