As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
