cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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