Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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