My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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