just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
