sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
