so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
