If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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