Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
