I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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