He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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