Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
