If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
