friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
