it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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