its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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