so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
