"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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