3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
