The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
