Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
