matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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