I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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