Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
