yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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