Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
