I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
