I think im going to throw up on grandma
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
