thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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