wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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