I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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