why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize