drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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