Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
