Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize